O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.